My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago because I was withdrawing from an antidepressant medication and was not acting like myself. He called me on the phone last night, hysterically asking to meet with me for some closure. I tried to maintain a calm and mature tone, and then he called me 15 minutes later saying that my tone was condescending and that I am "not worth it". The only thing I can think of that he would be upset by is that I told him I was concerned about him...because he was sobbing and screaming hysterically into the phone. He said he doesn't want to speak to me, which is fine, although we work in the same organization. I may have hurt him, but we only dated for 2.5 months total...isn't his reaction a little extreme? I seriously considered calling the police to patrol near my house last night because I was so afraid. How should I deal with this situation?


Answers




It's hard to know what was happening here or if your ex-boyfriend is dangerous, but he certainly sounds out of control in the phone call. It makes me wonder if he was drunk or high when he called. You might know from your time together whether these things are likely, or whether he's volatile in general. It sounds to me as if the best thing is to limit contact strictly, and only talk to him at work about work things if you have to. It's peculiar that he broke up with you, and yet is acting as if he's been wounded, and that he calls you up to tell you that he doesn't want to speak to you. Whatever his motivations, he sounds overemotional, and it sounds to me as if you are well out of the relationship. I'd resist any further attempts on his part to talk about it, rehash things, or be friends. Just give him a calm answer, something like, "I'm afraid I can't talk to you," and don't engage. You might read up on stalking, so you can recognize the signs and inform the authorities if his behavior escalates. If that's the case, the bosses at your workplace should also be informed, I'd think. Best of luck!





I agree w/ mattie58. It might be that he has some hidden emotions or still feels greatly for you and feels that hes somewhat shot himself in the foot and is kinda going mad over it, brewing with self hatred and its setting him off this way as a sort of guard, a way of escape into madness to save himself from emotional harm or anything...





I too agree with Mattie. It does sound that his emotions are running his mouth, and he is definitely not thinking about what he is saying before he says it.

I would not rush back in to any kind of relationship with him either. Do not allow him to continue and call you and berate you, yet, do not show up at his door either.

Best,

Clyde





If he calls again and abuses you don't engage in a conversation with him , just tell him that you have your own problems and that he should deal with his, and that if he harrases you again you will inform the police and the organisation you work for! Don't go out to meet him ,ever! If he shows up at your door , don't open it. If he toubles you again in any manner , inform a close friend / family /company and the police , you could be in danger!





CALL THE POLICE, AN YOU GET TO CHURCH AS SOON AS YOU CAN, ASK GOD TO SAVE YOU FROM YOU SINS, I KNOW YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. DONT SAY A WORD TO HIM MOVE ON, TELL PARENTS ALSO. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, GOD SAID HE WOULD NEVER FORSAKE YOU. PEACE ALWAYS