Me and my girlfriend who have been together for over a year now are having relationship problems. we are both 18 and are in our senior year. i dont really know what the problem is it just seems like many little things start to set us off aginste each other. we dont get into fights we just start to get depressed when each other and start crying when we talk to each other. it seems like when ever i try to ask her halp and begg her to not make plans so that she can spend some time helping me then she directly ignores me or makes planes with her friends, i dont really mind much because shes having problems with her friends too now but it just seemes like i never can fully count on her to be their for me. Besides that she will rarely ever kiss me on the lips in public, which makes me feel ashamed of my self, and she wants nothing to do with being intamate or any part of a sexual relationship, she says we should wait to be married befor we do anything like that, not that were planning on getting married yet, but i think we should still have some part of that kind of thing to gether. it seems like shes emotionally detached from me and the only ever emotion i can get from her is sadness, i dont know what i can do any more and i dont know if i am just seeking too much out of a relationship. =(


Answers




Well, you cannot really knock her for wanting to save things for marriage--a lot of that can be from her families past habits, and her upbringing.

And I am just throwing this out there, it may or may not be true--but could it be possible she is upset about it being her senior year and having to say "goodbye" to everyone in a few months?

Best,

Clyde





Demo, I do support your gf for wanting to wait for marriage. And for public display of affection, well, you can't fault her for that either. I know guys like to be physical, but you probably need to find the psychological/emotional and downright sensitive and understanding before pushing the physical. Girls need to see proof of what you are saying, you know?

Treat her with respect. She already shares the sadness with you, meaning she feels safe around you. That she does still do things with her girl friends is great! You should also find guy friends to hang out with. Totally focusing on one person is not healthy living. Life needs to have many people, friends, and activities, especially at a young age!

Work on your own sadness, maybe with a counselor, and that will help you win over your gf too.

best wishes

drjean





You're in the PRIME of your life. Tell her it's over. This will do one of two things. IF the relationship is meant to be and she loves you, she will pursue you hard. Just make her work for it and you'll have her in the palm of your hand. If you break up with her and she doesn't try to get you back... go your seperate ways. You've got the upper hand either way. Don't worry about this crap. In ten years you'll have a mortgage, kids, and bills up to your eyeballs.... you will look back and think WOW, why did I even care about this junk??