When I was young my mom questioned me to death and interroagted me now i feel like im doing this to my boyfriend he is wonderful but he lied to me 2 months into us dating has a past with several girls my ex husband said he never had the problem of me asking too many questionns that I didn't ask enough last relationship i was lied and cheated on the girl knew about me but continued the relationship i was so humiliated I feel im taking it out on him and im not able to trust wholeheartedly i gave myself a break from dating 9 months and thought i was ready


Answers




Learning to trust is not easy overnight. It takes time and patience, and not running to the phone every minute that your boyfriend may be late.

Also, though, if you have not been able to trust your whole life, it is hard to begin now as well. You might really need to discuss it with a therapist or a family friend/priest in ways in which you can help yourself trust him more.

Do you feel, honestly, that there are any reasons not to trust him? You do need to go with your gut, as well. But if you cannot honestly find a reason not to not trust him, then please seek some therapeutic help in order to get that trusting factor back.

Best,

Clyde





sounds like this guy is just not for you. i don't think you have trust issues. you have trust issue with HIM only. and if he lied to you - you SHOULD have those issues!!!! i would leave him if he lied and is causing you to have these trust issues. it is not YOU!





I think he has a lot to prove to you. Maybe write down all the questions you REALLY need the answers to, not just what your curious about. For that can destroy you and it really wont matter. Ask him qustions of the heart only. Then take some time away from him to process it all and maybe talk to a therapist to process it all. Yes your ex is being helpful but I think you need to speak to a therapist so this does not happen again. Ask him why he didnt tell you about his past honestly. And dont take well I didnt want to hurt you answer. He probably just didnt want to get caught. You need some time alone, and away from him. You also need to talk to a thereapist





From my experience the more I questioned my ex about every detail of his cheating the further it drove him away (not excusing his response at all, but it helped me realize he didnt care about trying to make me feel better, he just wanted the nagging and drilling to end)Also the more I found out the more upset I became, I did want to know the truth but alot of the info is devastating to hear. If u feel something just isnt rite and he's starting to change the way he acts towards u, its a pretty good indication hes up to something. This is going to sound bad and immature but the only times I actually got the truth was by going thru his text messages and call log. But he used to have no problem with me having total access to his accounts and used to guilt me into giving him mine so he could do the same I dont know what happened but the roles have completely reversed and I wasnt happy either way. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out the best for u.