My mom met a guy 6 months ago on eharmony and they're in love but definitely are not for each other. He has a daughter who I took to a concert in november and since then we have definitely developed feelings for each other. We admitted that to each other, and some things have happened between us sexually. I am so lost and she is now turning 180 and saying she thinks its wrong. I do too, but i really felt that we had a serious thing going and now we can't pursue it. What does everyone think i should do cuz i'm completely lost as to what to do?


Answers




if you 2 are not related to each other, its not wrong. have your mother and this guy married?





The whole issue, is of course, the girlfriend of yours in the relationship. Sadly, while it does matter with your opinion, she will not change her opinion to suit yours.

Is she feeling it is wrong because of her father and your mother? Or is it because of the sexual acts? Some get worried because of the sex alone.

She may not be as much attracted now as well. But, I do feel also that if you do have feelings for her, you do need to speak to her.

Be frank with her, talk to her, ask her why she feels the way she does. Do not be (or at least do not appear to be) harsh or upset on the outside, because she will be reluctant to answer you.

Trust yourself in your words, but speak from your heart. Tell her how you really feel and listen to her fears and try to relieve them. If you make a conscious effort to show her that you care and that you are worried about her welfare as well, that may help.

Best of luck!





Ok, I know this may sound unorthodox here but if no one is related, what's the problem? Don't get me wrong, this can definitely be sticky! For one, if your mom is in love, you can't speak for her in saying if it's right or wrong. That's her issue. Unless he's abusing her in some way, then I could understand, but otherwise it's her choice to make. Now, as for you...look, you guys are not related so I would say go ahead. Keep in mind however that you guys will have to be very very mature about the fact that if it doesn't work out you're still going to have to be civil to each other. And, NO, you CANNOT sabotage your parent's relationship just cause yours didn't work. If it doesn't work out with you two then you're going to have to assume the responsibility and suck it up. If you can live with that then, try it. And, yes, you will have to tell both your parents. Who knows? It might all work out.





there is nothing wrong with this. find out however, if she is hiding behind the excuse or using it as an excuse to get out of the relationship. you don't want to waste your time! as long as she is being truthful with you - and that is really the only issue and she has the same FEELINGS you do - then i'd say - go for it! you are not related! and your mother's relationship is still very new! do what is right for YOU!





You stated that you both think it is wrong to continue the relationship. You still want to even though you think it is wrong. I am trying to figure out why you are saying it is wrong? It is wrong because if your parent's knew about the relationship between you two they would be unhappy and it may damage their relationship? This is complicated. I believe in being open and honest about your feelings. Hiding your relationship while your parents are continuing theirs could blow up in your face. You don't know how they would feel. Sometimes people react very badly to these things. I knew of a situation like this and the mother of the girl had a very hard time accepting the couple's decision to have a relationship. The guy was an adopted son of her brother so they were not biologically related. The mother was more concerned about what other people would think which is sad but that is how she felt. The girl is having second thoughts...respect that and if you two are truly meant to be together everything will have to be out in the open eventually. Good luck!





There is nothing wrong with you seeing her! At all! In opinion of course. One of my friends got married about ten years ago. At the wedding, her father (who is a widower) met her husband's mother (who is a divorcee) and sparks flew! Her father married her husband's mother and both couples are still married! I tease her about it, but honestly, everyone was ok with both relationships. Would your mother approve? have you mentioned it to her? Your relationship may continue regardless if your mother's to the new boyfriend's doesn't. I say go for it!!!