I came across an article about BPD in time magazine and have a lot of symptoms mentioned. I feel like i have no emotional skin, and im being eaten from the inside out. The smallest things torture me and throw me into a frantic spin. Its affected all my relationships, and my ability to hold a job as i end up crying frequently.

Just moments ago i lost a friendship which was way more important to me than it was to them. I fear loosing people. and loose them anyway.

Ive often said i need love so much i cant have it. I feel that statement deeply. There is such an emptiness i feel. And Ive felt it a very long time. I'm extremely anxious in social situations, and have avoided most family get together's in the past 10 years ( im 31 now).

Right now im out of a job, and having a hard time finding one. I totally understand i need help and i have no finances to get it. I feel that the first step in recovering my life is to find help. Are there any resources available to me, to find diagnosis, and treatment, that are free, or that have a creative method to repay them.


Well, the first thing you should remeber is that BPD, is quite common but under diagnosed, so it is good that you want to find help for it. You're 31, and yes, those feeling for being 31, is not common. You should see a psych doctor for it, if anything. You see, there is no pill for it, you need to see a behavioral therapist after diagnosis. So if you see a doctor, they can give you the answer to seeing a behavioral therapist. It also sounds like you have a pretty bad case of Social Anxiety disorder. Also, your financial issues can be taken care of if you need help bad enough, as far as I know, sometimes they must help people. I am a volunteer at a hospital, and there are other volunteer places open to consuling for those who need it, you can ask doctors, and they'll give you that information. May people are strugggling right now, and they understand that, believe me.

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I guess BPD can also stand for bi polar disorder. And i have considered that as well. Sorry for being vague in the description. I had actually meant "Borderline Personality Disorder" - instead of bi polar disorder.