well, i used to self harm but i've recently stopped with the help of a couple friends. i used to do it because i used to (and still do) freak out about things that my friends are convinced arent happening, like if we become friends with someone new i convince myself that i'm going to get pushed out of the group and be replaced by them. i think negative things that i think my friends think about me, e.g. "that fat bitch, she's lucky we're her mates" and "i cant stand her" and "she's such an idiot, she just wants attention" they dont think this about me because they are my mates but recently 2 of them said that they feel im an attention seaker. i dont want attention, i want help. i dont need people to pay attention to me because im used to being ignored and all i wanted was for them to help me with some issues. heres the main issues i have: i used to SI for about a year but am really trying to quit and havent done it in 3 weeks, i used to be suicidal, i think most people are against me, i freak out about feeling another presence in a room when theres no-one there and i used to hear voices but they went away after i had just cut myself.
those are mainly whats wrong, please help me find out whats wrong with me.
thanks


Answers




Hi,

most of us who answer here are not therapists or doctors. Even if I was one, I wouldn't be able to diagnose you over the internet anyway. But we are good listeners and enjoy helping when we can.

One good thing is, you recognize it's not right to feel this way and that's brave. I think you should visit your family physician, so they can recommend a therapist for you. You can't rely on your friends to help you with your psychological issues. If you have feelings of suicide again, make sure you call the suicide hotline in your area.

Your doctor will be the best person to help you find answers to what's wrong with you. They will make you feel better. Best of luck and be safe.





You're on the right track. This is how life works: you're constantly faced with challenges, and you look for ways to solve those challenges that WORK and that don't create new challenges along the way. You experiment to find the right solution, you check your progress, and you revise your strategies along the way. As you keep practicing, you find better and better ways to keep returning to peace while creating fewer and fewer problems. It's an art.

Right now, you have things that are interfering with your peace -- voices, suspicious thoughts, feeling anxious and distrusting -- and you've found ONE way to solve them, by cutting. But you look carefully, and you notice that cutting isn't a great solution, because it creates more problems along the way -- cut up arms, shame -- and it only provides temporary relief, anyway, until the next episode.

So you've naturally started looking for new solutions by talking to your friends, by INVESTIGATING what's going on with you, and by looking for some advice. Maybe you think this isn't a big deal, but now you can see how significant it is. It means you're looking to better your techniques, and that's how you work through this stuff, just by having motivation to find the best solution. So this is a very very good sign.

You're going to find all sorts of coping mechanisms through experimenting, reading, and talking to counselors. One thing you can do is challenge the ideas your mind is feeding you. You're being told that you're worthless and that your friends don't like you. Is that true? What makes you think that? How would you argue against that? You get impulses to cut to make the voices go away. What else will make the voices go away? What about taking a walk? a run? Writing in a journal? Talking back to them and telling them to shut the fuck up? There's a lot of stuff you can do. Play with it. If you realize something is NOT a good solution, or you know intuitively that it's a bad idea (which I imagine you do), then just cut that out as an option. Slowly, you'll find what works and you'll find a better way to relate to all this stuff.





You are definitely on the right track. Find things that replace the bad things.

You are realizing that replacing things, understanding things are the way to go.

Keep working on it.

Best,

Clyde