I'm in senior high school (16 years old) and something strange (stranger than usual) is happening to me.
Ever since last year i have been quite depressed. sometimes (about ever three months or so) the depression severes and i go into some sort of dark state for a week or so. then im back to my mildly depressed state.
lately, I have been having these impulsive feelings to hurt myself. i make myself angry intentionally and i start punching things to bruise my knuckles and cutting. i won't stop until i have a mark on me. i just love pain so much and yet it scares me too.
i haven't been sleeping well due to all these weird thoughts popping into my mind, and i have minor delusions now and then.
also, sometimes (in the randomest places like on the bus) i have inappropriate thoughts or thoughts that make me uncomfortable and i can't stop them coming back into my mind unless i do something physical (like hurt myself or pull my hair etc).
sometimes i space out totally and i lose my sense of reality for a bit...which is seriously weird, and sometimes i get seriously jittery and i can't stay still and other times I'm so worn out and numb that i want to crawl up in a hole and just sleep forever. oh, and i get paranoid about alot of things, but i think that could be normal?
i think im going insane, my grades are failing, and i can't tell my parents. no way in HELL am i telling my parents. help me!!!! please!


Hi There...

You do have to tell your parents. How do you think you will get better? By continually self-injurious behaviors? By being depressed all the time?

You really do need to see a therapist, or at least, visit with your local school counselor and explain what is going on. They should at least be able to point you in the right direction.



If you are simply not willing to start by talking to your parents, then at least PLEASE talk to someone! Is there another caring adult in your life you could talk to? (School counselor, teacher, pastor, other relative...)Please be brave and talk to your parents or another important adult in your life. These problems will not go away on their own!

I don't think it's anything you need to fear, but you do need to have it checked. If you can't discuss it with your folks, what about your medical doctor? It could very well be your hormones are acting up more than the usual for a teenager. (We all go through this phase with hormones, but some have a more difficult time of it, and this could be your problem.)

Have your MD rule out any physical causes. If it isn't directly physical, it could be anxiety manifesting itself, in which case a counselor could help you figure out things so you can feel better.

Good wishes