I don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling more lost than I have in a long time. It even makes me want to drop out of school since I can't even think normally. I miss him and love him very much but I know I can't promise I won't hurt him. I'm sexually confused and feel like a child when it comes to anything. I don't feel 24. I feel like I'm 12. I don't understand why I can't be happy. I haven't ever been truly happy. I just don't know anymore... I feel so alone and so insanely lost...


Answers




Hi Lost4ever,

you shouldn't drop out of school because it has alot to do with your future happiness. Are you upset over a broken relationship? It sounds like you're depressed- if it's interfering in your life , then I would recommend telling a doctor or counselor.

It's not unusual for you you to feel younger because sometimes depression reveals those basic childhood emotions - the need to belong and feel nurtured. The term HAPPY is a confusing emotion sometimes. We think it should happen naturally and sometimes it seems so unattainable. Many times we hear people say "I'll be happy when....."- we're always searching for things outside ourselves to make us happy. In reality true happiness comes from inside ourselves. Some people are happy even though they have had terrible things happpen to them.

It's has a great deal to do with attitude. There are some people that don't realize that they were happy until they're at the end of their lives - like a terminal desease. The moment they realize they're not going to live long, they start to think - if only they had another chance they would appreciate life better.

There are some self help methods you can try like eating healthy and regular moderate exercise. You can also try writing your feelings in a journal. You also use the journal to write down reasons to be grateful and they can be simple like a warm place to sleep or a good meal. This concept is similar to the concept - is the glass half empty or half full. Meditation and deep breathing is another method you can try.

If a bad relationship that's got you down- then you can think that it was just meant to be. Maybe God has someone better lined up for you. For now just concentrate on being kind to yourself. If you don't start feeling better after a month, then maybe you should consult a doctor. Best of luck.





Hello. Lets take this line by line.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling more lost than I have in a long time. It even makes me want to drop out of school since I can't even think normally."

I would really advise against this. I've seen people drop out of college and vow to join again soon, but it gets VERY tough and requires a great deal of force to get your mind and body back in gear. Instead, I would suggest you take a lighter class load and focus on subjects you're REALLY interested in, no matter how weird they sound or how unrelated to your major they are. When I was in college, I took Conceptual Physics, African Drumming, and Music of Bali one semester. :) I didn't even get credit for Music of Bali but it was fun and weird and I took it with a friend.

"I miss him and love him very much but I know I can't promise I won't hurt him."

If a break up has got you a little disoriented, don't worry. Even though it's tough right now and the world looks dark, that perception will shore up with time and life will look normal. Maybe not AMAZING, but normal enough. Then you can start looking at ways to make it amazing, but you have to go through the healing process, which takes a little time and can be sad at times. It's okay. It's good. It's better than feeling nothing, which would actually be much more scary from a therapeutic perspective.

"I'm sexually confused and feel like a child when it comes to anything. I don't feel 24. I feel like I'm 12."

Hey, I hear that! I went to an orthodox religious school until college. When I joined college, I thought everyone was EXTREMELY experienced, vs. me, still a virgin. They actually weren't that experienced. The most important thing with sex isn't your experience, anyway. It's how you get to be comfortable in the bedroom. Experience doesn't also mean commfort. In fact, the really experienced ones are usually out to prove something to themselves and are anything but confortable.

"I don't understand why I can't be happy. I haven't ever been truly happy. I just don't know anymore... I feel so alone and so insanely lost..."

That's okay. Like bella said, it's nice that you've realized this. You can now start to ask questions like "what is true happiness?" and "how do I get there?" Those are both very sophisticated questions that take time to dissect. If you dedicate yourself, you can start to figure this stuff out. Maybe you can buy a book about happiness when you're ready? Browse the bookstore for something that looks good and buy it. If you need more guidance, you can talk to a therapist.

You got this, Lost4never! (see what I did there?)





I agree, that you have to find out what true happiness is. True happiness wouldnt involve you dropping out of school, or ending your life.

Best,

Clyde