I've only recently been diagnosed with moderate to severe depression within the last year, but I've had it much longer (to a smaller degree). When I was six, I was molested by an older sister. My parents divorced around the same time, my dad's a pretty bad alcoholic and I hardly ever see my mom. I guess I've always had it somewhat rough but I never really thought of myself as a depressed individual. It never affected the way I communicated with my friends and it made a very small impact on my self-confidence.

It wasn't until this past February. I was in love (or puppy love) at the mere age of sixteen with this girl. I know, it sounds ridiculous to hear about a teenager in love, but regardless, she was the first girl I was ever affectionate towards and I really depended on her for my daily mood and attitude. Towards the end of February, she and someone who I considered a close friend of mine engaged in sexual contact. As soon as I found out, I had left my house and without emotion, tried to end my own life. Before things were too late, I checked myself into the hospital and signed a 5150; I went to a psychiatric center for three days and have not gone back since.

This event was what really made me start to realize I was depressed. I didn't just think to myself, "Oh I'm depressed I guess." I started having many more thoughts that looked down on myself and became extremely indecisive about even the smallest things. Common symptoms of depression.

However, it is not until pretty recently that I've started becoming so anti-social. I used to present myself as a talkative, outgoing kid but now it's hard for me to even focus on a conversation. I talk about only a few things that still have my interest and I will almost go into a blank state when talking to a peer or family member of mine.

I've also become so much more paranoid about my health. I smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, smoke marijuana recreationally. I'll randomly get worried about particularly my oral health and it's gotten to the point where I have to check multiple times throughout the day.

I've been hesitant to use anti-depressants but would they help either of these aspects?




sorry to hear of your struggles.

What happened at the psychiatric center that you say you checked into? Are they the ones that diagnosed you with depression? What treatments did they recommend?

It does sound like you need to be in ongoing therapy ie seeing a psychologist to be able to work through the traumas of the past and the struggles at present. Anti-depressant meds can help some people but they can also produce unwanted side effects for some. There are also natural ways to boost serotonin levels (which is often deficient in people with depression) and even healthy diet, supplementing with a good multivitamin/mineral that has the full spectrum of B vitamins etc can be helpful.

You should know that alcohol is a depressant so please be careful with that! especially as you have an alcoholic father and so could have that genetic disposition yourself.....and although there are known medical benefits in mj, yet in some young people who are susceptible, it can increase paranoia and schizo type symptoms. Tobacco is just plain bad for you!! I realize you are likely self medicating with all those, which is why it really is important for you to be in therapy.

I've had a couple therapists tell me I am moderately to severely depressed within the past year or so. Thank you very much for your helpful answers, ma'am!

You are welcome...I hope things improve for you.