My name is Jade and I'm 18 years old. i am a devout Christian with a very close relationship with God. about four months ago i watched an episode of a crime tv show, and it sounds silly but it scared me so much. the episode was to do with a criminal who was killing his victims by (it absolutely pains me to write this, the image is so vivid) cutting their throats. now with this image in my head i have been having the worst anxiety... Im frightened so much of sleeping, because what if i sleepwalk and kill my family or something? As a Christian of course it scares me even more. As a result of this i have developed a phobia of knives and losing control and hurting my family and those I love. It's gotten to a point now where I think about it almost obsessively and I'm scared to sleep sometimes. It's horrible and I cant stand it, I just want to get rid of it. It generates feelings of anxiety.
Would anyone recommend anything? What's your opinion? Would hypnosis help?
Please help, I cant stand this fear, and these terrible images.


Hi there AussieGirl!

I would recommend CBT or hypnosis.

CBT is probably the best thing, in my mind for it.

It will help you replace that phobia with something else, or make that phobia less frightening to you.



Aussiegirl, it sounds like that one show really hit home with something inside of you. Maybe you have been feeling angry or upset already about family issues, and the ability to fixate on the knives is making it all feel too real.

Try to discuss the regular things that are upsetting you with the family dynamics. You probably already was anxious about things, and the crime show only allowed you to acknowledge those ill feelings.

People don't usually do things against their nature, whether sleepwalking or hypnotized, btw. I'm sorry the fear of being out of control is so strong for you.

Why would you become more scared because you are Christian? Is it that it's so out of character for you to even think such a thing? You can draw on God's strength to help you work through this. He knows exactly what you are feeling, and He also knows why.

Realize that you are probably using the knives as an object of your fears, and not the real fear. Is there something going on in your life that you are not able to control, that bothers you? Are you harboring ill feelings towards family, are they preventing you from doing what you think you want to do, or are they not helping you when you need their help, including with emotional issues? Do you feel they are hearing you when you express needs?

If you can't discuss this with your mom or dad, then find a school counselor, or a favorite teacher and share what's going on with you.

I'll pray for the peace of Christ to comfort you, too.

Best wishes


I get the exact same way you do, and funnily enough I'm around the same age. If I see something violent or scary on tv or read about it I obsess and am terrified that I may harm my family in a similar way. I too am afraid of losing control.

I don't know what advice to give you really. But I've found several people on this site who have experienced the same thing, maybe violent movies etc. are projected on daily worries and we obsess because we are afraid of losing control. I think the answer to the problem is in finding out whether or not it is possible to lose control and hurt someone. Because if it is impossible then then that knowledge will lessen your anxiety and make you feel safer when sleeping.

Personally I am terrified of bringing this issue to a shrink because I don't want my future career goals to be affected by a sketchy medical history, I'm also afraid of being prescribed drugs. But that it my choice, if you feel like you should talk to someone then you should. I have tried to fix this problem myself first by limiting my exposure to scary media, directing my thoughts away from these feelings of anxiety and repeatedly telling myself that I have to trust myself and that these actions are wrong and I would never be capable of them.

Hope this helps you. If nothing else it might help to know you're not the only one who sometimes feels this way.

i have had that same fear for 2 months now that i am scared of anything that could kill someone and knives in particular and yes i feel like one day i mite loose control and kill someone wich makes me sick just thinking about it and al it takes to make me have a panic attack is what you said watch a scary movie or somthing with knives as a result im afraid to tell my family as well and im lost what i do though is get control when im scared and say what will happen if you killed someone you loved because of this damn phobia/anxiety thing basicly as you already now the possibilitys are very very nasty and i dont likke ot think about them but really it gets you back sane and i plan to tell my mom so i mite go see someone but im gona give it tilll 2 weeks before i do anything to see wut happens

Dear AussieGirl,

I am your age and also have a slight phobia. I have been afriad of knives for a very long time. I use them, but other people holding them around me. As to your cry for help, here is my answer;

Like you, I am a Christain, and as such I know that God our Father is bigger than all of our problems. Though I am aware that therapy can help, I would advise you, if you have not already, to bring your troubles to the Lord. For it is written, "Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you," and Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort (2Cor. 1:3)." Trust that he will take care of you is essential. If you need therapy, make sure it's a Christian you're talking with. The doctrine of the world is more harm than help.

Also, if you haven't told your family, it's something you should do. Accountablitiy is helpful, and they can encourage you. It would also be safer for them to be aware of your condition if you really believe you could be a threat.

I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless,


Hi Aussie Girl!

I stumbled across your posting re. your fear of knives and harming your family.

I am working on a documentary style show for the Oxygen

Network that is treating women who have different phobias.

We will partner women with reputable, well-respected therapists to cure each woman of her phobia by the end of the show. A phobia can create such heavy mental chains - we'd love to help you be free of them.

If you are interested I would love to give you more information about the

program. I really feel that you could benefit from it in regards to your fears. Contact me at the following information if you'd like to chat for a bit about the show and your fears.


Rebecca Waer


The same thing happened to me when I was watching a crime show with my mom and I was annoyed with her because all she had been doing was crying and I was cleaning my nails with the sharp part thats on a nailclipper and I looked up it and showed a real dead body laying there in his house and I thought thats horrible and it said something he was stabbed to death and I thought what if I did that to my mom and then I thought I should poke her with my nail thing and it freaked me out I ran into my bathroom crying and sat there for hours trying to pull myself together and ever since I can not stand being in my kitchen knowing there is knives and it bothers me so much and I am also afraid to go to sleep because I think I might sleep walk as well and I am scared standing near my knife holder in my kitchen because I think I might grab one and go crazy it sucks. I went through a depression after that where all I did was lay in my moms bed and I wouldn't eat and all I did was listen to this one song over and over and cry and think about killing myself, I told my mom but not why I lied and said I didn't know. I am getting scared just typing about it. I haven't told anybody this is the first time and it makes me feel so bad knowing that all I can ever do is think about it and I am only 14 I don't wanna go my whole life in fear of myself. Well I hope you get better hopefully some of these answers will help me as well.

A very real phobia. I also refuse to watch the first few scenes of a crime show-and my family now respect that. I cannot hear a woman, screaming begging for her life. Similarly when in the supermarket i will try to be 'together' and try to desensitize myself, making myself look at a 20cm carving knife and as i feel pulled towards it, the fear makes me cry and i wonder if i will ever be normal again. In the kitchen, i refuse to be around the carving knife, wash it etc. though my children laugh and it annoys me the older one is beginning to realize that i was assaulted and doesn't really want to know.

I am a Christian. Unlike the posts before me my fear is not about having a sort of command -hallucination to carry out some murderous intent on my family-i hope that i haven't made light of that for anyone. I simply was terrorized by my very ex-boyfriend, cornered with the knife described until i was pinned against a bed and window Long story short, I screamed for my life and it was only that he thought my mobile phone which he threw under the bed-was open to police that he was distracted.

As a Christian, i will say: it was like he was possessed. His shame was immense.

Phobia wise? i need to sleep with lights on but in the lounge. i prefer to sleep during the day. I take medication for the anxiety and avoid going out. Sorry 'bout the length. I note being in my early 40s that most of you are a lot younger and dealing-maybe-with anger issues that may have been repressed due to upbringing-many reasons.

I hope i haven't taken the topic too 'off-focus'. Desensitization a respectful family and journal work help sometimes. It would be very scary being around such a dangerous kitchen tool. Also talking about your feelings-esp way to deal with anger and creative forms of expressing that anger through, art, music, words, I wish you God's peace as without His strength, we are nothing,

God Bless to all those suffering. My thoughts are with you.

Hi to all. OMG i have had the same problem for almost 3 years. i get to the point that i will get depression. how ever i am in happy that i am not the only person with this kind of thoughts. it was hard for me to get over it for the first time. i got depressed sp badly that i ended up going on medication and still on them but only a low dose per day. anyway, i stay away from all the scary movies like criminal movies. used to love them but now hate them the most. so i got ride of all big knives at home and only have small ones. the reason i did this was to minimise the trigers. so i was doing good for about 2 years but now all the scary thoughts are back and i am trying to get ride of my scary thoughts. i know it is going to be so hard but i have to do my best to get my life back to normal.